Well, my plans for Valentine’s Day includes going trolling for emotionally inept alcoholics, before drunk-texting an ex – and then quietly sobbing myself to sleep..

Who’s with me??!

• Bracelets
  I really feel like the bracelet is the most stupid kind of jewellery. It’s like a watch, but it doesn’t give any information. And in my world that is kind of the purpose of a watch.
• Shoes
  Though I understand the purpose of the shoe I do not get the (female) obsession with this particular accessory. Who the hell cares what you put on your feet. You don’t even really see them.
• Tooth-piercings
  Just like you don’t look particularly nice with spinach in your teeth this is not working out for you either.
• Thong
  I guess it might be flattering in theory, but in realty; not so much.
• False or unnaturally long fingernails
  It’s so impractical it’s a joke. I just don’t get why you’d want something that makes everyday life so difficult. To me it’s kind of pathetic. It also makes you look like a prostitute.

Also: “I think accessories are like nipples. Two of ‘em are totally cool but any more than that and you look ridiculous.” J-Money

After a week with four exams in three different subject I am beat and I need something to take my mind of things. Something to make me feel good – something to make me feel alive. Now normally I would indulge in chocolate or put on some girly feel good movie – but I have realized that I cannot just stuff my face any longer and those romantic movies suck and always leave me with an empty lonely feeling. So I am thinking, what would a guy do. No, not a guy – a man. I’ve come up with this:

• Build a house
• Buy a vicious pitbull
• Indulge in a weekend of booze, coke and stripclubs
• Start a local fight club
• Go hunt for food
• Take up knife fighting or bear wrestling
• Get big dragon tattooed on my neck
• Join a biker gang
• Find Osama Bin Laden