It’s odd after watching a ton of TV shows relating to crime and punishment I have never actually thought it would be something I’d meet in my own life, but now I suddenly have..

1. A guy from my class has been accused of something quite horrible, but came back to school this week after being in custody for about two months, because there wasn’t enough evidence against him. I won’t go into what he’s been accused of, butlet me put it this way: if he’s guilty I want absolutely nothing to do with him, but if he’s innocent his whole life has probably been ruined because of it. Now, as many leftists, I am a real softy when it comes to things like this and I – above all – believe in humanity (humanity as in the quality of being humane – kindness, benevolence) and that whole presumption of innocence thing. I have heard what he had to say, what the media had to say (not the same thing, I might add) and then what he had to say to what the media had to say, and although there’s still some things I don’t understand I have decided that, to me, he’s innocent. I actually thought it would be hard to force my mind to go all black and white on the matter, but luckily I actually do rather well with being one-dimensional. He’s not a friend (he wasn’t before either), but he’s a guy in a crisis who needs to know that the world is still standing. At least for now.
2. Next week I am witnessing in this thing. Again, I am not going into details, but just let me make it clear that I am not the single key witness to a murder or anything like that.. It’s just a minor thing where I have to say who were where at what time and so on.. But I really don’t wanna do it. It’s sort of hard explaining why (without going into details), but I know both parties and I don’t want anyone to win or lose – especially not because of anything I say. I am of course just going to tell the truth, but it’s been two years since this thing happened and I guess I am afraid that I will be too biased or I’ll piss off one of someone or something like that – as I said I know both parties and I feel terrible by even being in the middle of it. I really wish I had said no when I had the opportunity. And I don’t know how I am supposed to act. Should I give everybody hugs or do I have to choose sides or something like that? Will there even be hugs or just handshakes or nods? Are they actually talking to each other or will they only be sending evil eyes?

(I don’t think I’ve ever actually done this before. This type of blog entry, I mean. Maybe because my life is normally pretty uneventful, maybe because I feel sort of weird dragging other people’s lives into this, but I am thinking this might actually be what a personal blog could be for.. I feel like crap, I share it with the world (well, my four subscribers) and I feel better. Perhaps unprodigal has a future after all. )

Holy mother of fuck, it’s a good thing this season of House is almost over. I am looking forward to mondays!? That is not normal - it’s insane and it freaking needs to end.

A couple of years ago people were saying that models where unrealistic images of how women are supposed to look?

Sure. But then what about now? Now we actually have a concept of beauty that is not even found in real life. It’s actually more like science fiction. Even those few percent that a beautiful enough to be featured in your favourite magazine are covered in makeup, photoshopped and most likely had their fair share of plastic surgery too. And we are taking it in without any sense of criticism at all. The walls of my 12-year-old cousin are plastered with posters of “perfect women”. Every day whatever she’s doing she is surrounded by perfection. She is constantly comparing herself to something she’ll never be her parents are doing absolutely nothing about it, because it’s completely normal. But doesn’t the fact that it’s considered normal make it even more disgusting? This retouched fantasy of human physical perfection is not art. It’s propaganda.

And at the same time - even though we know how this distorted image of beauty makes us aim for something we’ll never reach - we still know that we cannot afford to not pursue it. Because everywhere people are telling us that we have to. It’s not just a superficial longing, it is our identity that is at stake. I don’t want to be ugly. Subhuman. I don’t want to be a failure; unworthy of consideration.

And yes, this is about women’s rights.  As it always has been. Where masculinity has traditionally been measured by status, femininity is measured by beauty. And sure, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, but when all we see are models that would make Barbie cry, the standard of beauty has been distorted to an unhealthy level.

I have no idea what could be done about this. I don’t think banning this would have any influence, or even be possible. How do you tell these people (models, photographers, ect.) that prostituting themselves like this is not acceptable?

Because in the pursuit of beauty, there is no finish line. Nothing about us will ever be perfect. The need will always, always be there. There will always be just one more thing we could do. Or get. Or lose. It is a fool’s marathon. But I don’t care. I will run it anyway.
Augusten Burroughs  

This post is a part of an opinions series where I speak my mind on topics that interest me. I have earlier on discussed abortion and the term single.